This next week I plan on working on getting a set list of songs together for an upcoming audition! My neighbor told me he has an "in" with a local wine bar owner. He thinks that he can get me in front of
this person for a musical interview. Oh geez! If I think about this it will scare me to death. It is what I would dearly love to do but this voice in my head wonders if I can pull it off all by myself! Now I find myself wishing that I had a band to play with. When I was a kid I was in a band. I loved that I was a part of something grand. I did one solo song each gig . I don't know that I want to try to be the whole enchilada! Talk about pressure! Having to come up with enough perfected material to fill at least a few hours by myself.
When you play by ear, you have nothing to rely on as a reference point or starting point. It is all by memory and feel. Focus and attention are key. In a noise filled environment who knows what that would be.You factor in fear and adrenaline and it could end not well lol. All the lyrics that have to be recalled with every song. Omg, playing in front of people for hours at a time, just me...
Sounds so stressful! I have to think about this long and hard. I have been in a musical pattern of learning/creating a song, working on that song for hours at a time. Recording that song on YouTube and on SoundCloud and then moving on to the next song! I rarely go back to songs once I have covered them. I have to be realistic and really see if I can tighten up my covers consistently to be pro enough to pull it off. If I can't, then I will know that I can't. This week will determine my intentions and aspiration.
I have also worked a great deal on writing my own songs and perfecting them. So having to perfect hours of content and lyrics seems daunting! I wonder if I'm even up for the task. I'm also not like some entertainers who can just play requests. I know what I know and, that is that! Self doubt is creeping in and it's ...counter productive.
As a semi test for myself I went into our local Guitar Center music store. The keyboard section in the back so I decided to just sit down and play one of the tester keyboards. I played a few songs and pretty soon people were coming over to listen. Kids and adults were standing around listening. This gave me some confidence. I was there for probably 30-45 min. just playing. It was a Sunday afternoon and the store just let me play. When I finished playing, I went up to pay for a mic stand and the cashier asked me how long I had been playing. I told her since I was a kid and she said she could tell. She complimented me and told me that I sounded great. Others behind the counter also expressed support. This was a boost that I needed to get me going. This prompted me to look beyond playing from the yellow room. I just wonder if I'm up for filling hours of time by myself.
Feeling brave after my music store recital, I posted several business cards on the artists board that they have. It felt good to tack my business cards up there! I felt like I was a taking a real step toward putting myself out there! Making this dream from the yellow room a possible, tangible reality! Baby steps... baby steps.
So much of life is a mental game! If you can master the mental mindspeak and the self doubt you can conquer and accomplish great things! I just need to get some confidence and a clearer understanding of my true capability as an artist. I have to figure out if I am truly capable of carrying a whole gig by myself! If I can pull it off, I sure want to! It would fulfill my dream to play and get paid! Oh how that would fulfill and thrill my spirit!
Wish me luck as I embark on a dream that could better my life in so many ways!
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