A Blog about life and living through my life experience and perspective. I am a writer, singer/songwriter childhood savant musician...Trying to find my niche and stake my place in society...
I was thinking about my Dad and his lifelong view on religion. He was an athiest. He is a scientist so it doesn't fit his way of thinking. I guess he also believes that when you die, thats it. Nothing remains, no spirit,the lights go out and thats all there is. We simply cease to exist anymore. I believe that the fear of this has kept him alive for so long. He has been ill for a long time. Pneumonia has nearly taken him a few times! Now that the end is near for him I wonder what he thinks about death. I wonder what goes through his mind? I grew up with the understanding that this was his thinking. I envy those with firm religious beliefs and conviction. It must really provide great solace whenever death comes to loved ones. I believe that more exisits... I have hope and a desire to see all of my deceased loved ones including all of my cherished animal friends again.
I worked on and finished this song today. I imagine it is an atheists view to the way the world should work? I often wonder what artists would think of my covers of their songs. I have never gotten any feedback lol. I'm a very small fish in a very big pond...
Here is my YouTube cover video of
⬇️ Imagine written by John Legend. My cover...
Thinking of my father. Hoping that in his final hours he has some solace and hope for more...May he be pleasantly surprised and amazed by the world that awaits him. May he find the answers to all of the questions and marvels of the universe!
I entered the John Lengend/ AXE contest. Five lucky artitsts will have the opportunity to be mentored by this incredibly talented artist. I know it's silly at my age but I just felt compelled to try. So much of my life is spent trying to do something. It's getting really old to not accomplish great things! A lot of effort going out, very little of anything coming back. I suppose this is my way of saying, I'm not dead yet. Similar to the midlife crisis sports cars that people buy. Or that Harley/ motorcycle you buy. This is my way of trying to convince myself that I've still got "it". So silly when I really think about it but I will still try.
Here are my three, 60 second or less submissions...
Lost In The Game ( a snippet of an original of mine )
I'm still having fun trying to do all of this silly stuff... I even entered the Meow Mix jingle contest a few months ago lol. They haven't disclosed a winner yet that I am aware of...
Here is our submission. Zoe did the camera work here. Clarice was just herself, adorable...
So silly. I suppose if I hear of any other contests or jingle writing opportunities I will try to do that also. Always trying to do something more than nothing...
Wish me luck! One of these fine days something that I try to do may pay off!
Lol this was my first artist submission. Before I got my keyboard. On my old childhood piano. We submitted this video for the Brett Michaels "Rock My RV " contest. So silly but so much fun!
Thank God for sweet kitties! This little gal Clarice is a great source of comfort when life gets really sad. Today I'm thinking about my Dad. He is in the throws of dying. He couldn't wake up to talk to me during our 4 hour visit there. Of course after I left, he woke up for a bit. So sad. I hear from his wife and my sister that they feel the end is near which prompted my day trip to Tucson. I hate like hell having to say goodbye to him. I always have...
My father was always traveling when I was young. He was a VP of plastics engineering for a lot of my childhood. Around my teen years he came up with an idea for inventing polystyrene insulation. He rented a hillside in Fairview, PA. Dad and Mom began an arduous process of building and proving a pilot plant for production of this product. My sister and I helped with this process. He taught us how
to run density tests on the foam boards that he produced in this pilot plant.He aquired and still holds patents on extruders and dies that he developed. My father invented what we all know as Owens Corning Foamular. A polystyrene insulation used in the construction of homes, commercial buildings and for use under roads.
Dad with a sample of the bead board that he invented. This was taken in the first plant built in Tallmadge,Ohio. Sheets and sheets of the same board are stacked behind him.
Patents...
This was his life work. He traveled the world getting plants up and running for production of this product.
In his lifetime he was a Master Sargent in the Army. He served in the Korean War and in World War II.
When he returned home he went on to achieve a Masters in Organic Chemistry from Cornell University.
He worked for Aero Jet General as a Rocket Scientist...This is a brilliant man...
My biggest regret is that he never saw me do anything great with my life. I have taken care of people
my whole adult life. He knew that I was working on my music again but I have nothing noteable (lol) to brag about. I so wanted to make him proud... Maybe in the next life?
He inspired me to realize that time is fleeting, leave your mark upon this earth!
It's a long way back. I find myself at 52 with a four year old. I'm trying to wrap my head around the events of the past two weeks in which I find myself with guardianship of my beautiful Granddaughter. No idea how long this will be for. It all hinges on her parents getting it together. I hold out little hope on that. Breaks my heart. The little life she has had to live has been difficult, I'm sure. Now that the court is involved, I hope they will ensure her safety!
I'm glad to be able to do my part to help this child. It strikes me as desperate when I look into her vulnerable eyes. So heart wrenching! What really amazes me is her compliance and appreciation to leave that life behind her. She had a visit with Mom and Dad. We took her to see them at a park. They played for an hour and a half. My Granddaughter was fine to come back with me. No fuss, no tears and no apparent dispair. Just a matter of fact farewell.
In this past week I have worked on getting a routine going for her. A life she can expect from us here. She seems to love the idea of a nightly bath and bedtime story. I sit with her while she falls asleep... The past few days she has had the worst cough! She caught something somewhere. I took her to the Dr. Friday. We finally found a nighttime cough med that the pharmacist recommended at 1 am last night. Bless her heart she has been coughing so much. Her sinuses so plugged up.
As I mentioned, all of this is going back a long way. My oldest is 30 years old. My youngest will be 13 this May. My whole adult life has been about taking care of people. I'm not complaining, it's what I have done. Seems it is my lot in life.
Last year I was able to revisit my life passion of music. I have been working on me and developing myself as an artist and person. I loved my time... I worked hard at trying to learn about how to get myself out there in social media. I really had fun discovering myself. I don't want to lose me again! I'm hoping I can find a balance and a place for me while taking care of everyone else...
I was able to squeeze in putting together a submission for a John Legend contest. Five lucky artist will be mentored by John Legend. How great would that be? The best as far as I see it! What a
wonderful experience that would be. I realize I probably have a better chance at winning the lottery than this contest but I wanted to try so, I did. I put together three 60 second submissions. All Of Me John Legend AXE submission.
Lost In The Game submission for AXE/ John Legend contest
This contest is a promotion for AXE products. I had fun submitting. May be silly but it keeps me feeling like a person in my own right. Otherwise, I get swallowed up in caregiver mode.
God how I wish I could earn compensation in some form. Pay me in freakin chocolate, at this point I don't care! I just want to feel that what I do with these two hands is worth something to someone!
Don't have a clue what Terry Kath would think of my covers of his brilliant, soulful originals. I'm not sure that I do them justice but they truly come from my heart. Absolutely stunned when I found out many years that he died. What a loss for Chicago and music as well as his family of course. That trademark voice and guitar licks...unsurpassed. Alma Mater
My collection of Madonna Inn goblets. When we lived on the central coast my daughters would buy a goblet for me for holidays. It became difficult to remember which colors I didn't have. I still don't have them all but I sure enjoy my collection! They set a pretty table and are so heavy. Reminds me of home, Morro Bay California.
My older kids grew up there .The desert is so very different from this place...when I visit Morro Bay now I realize how way out in the boonies we were.
Phoenix is a pretty big city compared to this beautiful but isolated area...I lived on the central coast for 34 years! I knew it was time to leave when one by one they all started passing away. An Uncle, another Uncle, my Aunt, my Mom and then my last Aunt. Too many memories and places that reminded me of all of these people I had lost. I guess I was just ready to start over. I can't say that I
like Phoenix all that well. The extreme heat is still not something that I can get used to. The dust
either! I have had awful sinus issues living here. The people are not very friendly either. I guess any place is what you make it...
I do however like the shopping and the variety of resturaunt choices here. The resorts are fun also.
The few friends I have made are nice people. So,I'm not complaining. My grown daughters have had
many more educational and career opportunities here for sure! I'm grateful for that! I'm also grateful
that they all live in this area. All within 45 min. I get to visit with them often.
It always amazes me the way people choose to present to the world. Not in physical appearance but in deed and action. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen and been up against aggressive posturing in everyday scenarios. In stores, and on the road. It amazes me to see and feel the lack of regard so many others have for each other. The competitive nature and flat out rudeness is disheartening! How did we as a society become so thoughtless and jaded? The insincerity, impatience and hostility just amazes me. So many times I feel I have witnessed one of those tv show ” What Would You Do Moments”… I’m always uncomfortable when I do! I have always been one to hate confrontation but when provoked, I can be confrontational. Especially when something or someone is justly unfair… I can’t stand bullies. Bullies and being bullied make me furious! It takes a lot to get me there but when I do, I’m there!I was in a recent situation that reminded me of the hope and desire of these lyrics ,on a global level. I felt prompted in some way to cover this, so I did…
I always feel bad after I have lost “it”. Something I’m glad to say that I’ve rarely done. Even if I have the right to get angry, I never feel as if I have ever gained much by being furious. Not understanding, not popularity and surely no dignity…so…I just don’t like to go there… Surely diplomacy wins out?Leave a replyIt always amazes me the way people choose to present to the world. Not in physical appearance but in deed and action. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen and been up against aggressive posturing in everyday scenarios. In stores, and on the road. It amazes me to see and feel the lack of regard so many others have for each other. The competitive nature and flat out rudeness is disheartening!
How did we as a society become so thoughtless and jaded? The insincerity, impatience and hostility just amazes me. So many times I feel I have witnessed one of those tv show ” What Would You Do Moments”… I’m always uncomfortable when I do! I have always been one to hate confrontation but when provoked, I can be confrontational. Especially when something or someone is justly unfair… I can’t stand bullies. Bullies and being bullied make me furious! It takes a lot to get me there but when I do, I’m there!
I was in a recent situation that reminded me of the hope and desire of these lyrics ,on a global level. I felt prompted in some way to cover this, so I did… Imagine Imagine Written by John Lennon
I always feel bad after I have lost “it”. Something I’m glad to say that I’ve rarely done. Even if I have the right to get angry, I never feel as if I have ever gained much by being furious. Not understanding, not popularity and surely no dignity…so…I just don’t like to go there… Surely diplomacy wins out?
*The following post has breaks in the format. I apologize as this is not how it reads when I try to edit it. I am new to this site and I haven't figured out the editing and format features I should be using. Please know that I know it's wrong!
It's taken me nearly 52 years to sort through some things about myself that have been a mystery to me. At age four I suddenly could play the piano. My Mom had painted a picture of me at age two
reaching up over my head and fondling the keys of our family piano. I imagine that I have been
infatuated with the piano from the time I could stand.
One of my earliest childhood memories was a look of almost terror on my Mom's face. I began
playing a song that my twelve year old sister had been practicing on the piano. I was four. My mother came into the room to compliment my sister on the piece and she found four year old me at the keys
instead. It scared Mom to death and me too. I thought something was wrong with me! This ability
wasn't limited to the piano. I found out in 6th grade that I could also play the oboe, flute and saxaphone quite well. I still play my flute now and again but I no longer own a sax. My Mom thought it funny looking for a girl to play sax lol. I bet I could still play one. I also have been known to be
able to play bass guitar and pick out a melody line on a guitar.
I have been playing by ear all my life. I tried many times to learn how to read music to no avail. I
either couldn't get my brain to work that way or I didn't have the patience to learn. Some songs that I
have learned are very easy for me and others, I have to pick apart and learn. I can't play just any song.
The songs that I play, just kind of come to me. Thats why I say that my cover songs find me.Recently, I decided to try to write a song just to see if I could. Something that I haven't heard
before that is completely from my own creation rather than something I have heard. I was surprised to find that I could! I constructed chords, a vocal melody line, and even set lyrics to the composition/ arrangement. I even toyed with the melody line inserting a violin accompaniment that I wrote and
recorded for my YouTube channel .http://youtu.be/nAVkKmaAVF0. The violin is actually a voice that my piano can make. So I created that passage from a setting on my keyboard. I tried to play it as if I
were playing the violin. I actually felt as if I had played the violin. Hence my OMG expression at the
end of my clip lol.
Later, I wrote and set lyrics in place of the violin. This was a magical experience to find out that whatever this is that I have, isn't limited to what I have heard. I actually
can write my own originals. This isn't a great song. I had it looked at by random people and it's not
compelling I've been told. In fact, it may even suck lol. Oh well, it's mine all mine and it holds deep meaning to me on so many levels It was almost a spiritual experience as it was unfolding beneath my fingers. This means, I'm not limited in ability to what I hear! I can create!
I look forward to my next song. Whatever that may be. I'm really hoping to get away from trying to
do covers. Copyright laws are very strange. Some artists/ most artists allow covers of their songs. One artist in particular that I cover has a media company that trolls the internet and YouTube. This
particular artists social media mafia take down videos that even have his own recorded music in
them! Vacation videos with his own recording in the background! Long story short, my cover of a song this artist wrote got me a copy-write strike against my YouTube account. Thinking the problem was I didn't site it properly, I revised it and posted it again. Bam, another take down and copy-write srtike! YouTube has a three strikes your channel is done policy. To add insult to injury, this was the very first video I ever posted on YouTube lol! I was crushed
I actually ended up writing to this artists management company to ask permission to cover this song to put on my YouTube channel. I inserted a small video clip of me playing his song. I explained that I was a housewife playing from a spare room. I am not making any money from this and that my only purpose for doing so is out of the enjoyment and adoration for his brilliant composition! I never heard
back from his management company. Other cover videos of the same song/artist are available for view on YouTube, why was mine not allowed? I also asked this, no reply back. After all what did I
expect, I'm only a 52 year old housewife. Why should they bother acknowledging my efforts?!
Anyway, I think I'll keep myself out of trouble and try to write my own songs to do lol... I have a pet name for my keyboard called, "The Keys To My Happiness". It's deep within my soul to play...I imagine as long as I am physically able to do so, I will!
It's New Year's Day. I have been in my kitchen cooking today. I made a lot of food! I baked some homemade cornbread this am.
And my favorite chili recipe to go with lol.
This chili can simmer for a long time, incorporating all the flavors ...A sweet and spicy recipe. Great for game days!
These meatballs are so tasty you wouldn't believe!
An easy recipe using jellied canned cranberry and a bottle of chili sauce...
This is my cream cheese and craisin cheeseball rolled in chopped pecans.
I even made a baked brie with cranberry sauce wrapped in phyllo.
The best part of making all of this food is that I'm finished cooking for a few days! I made enough food for us that I can just enjoy the rest of this holiday! I am also ready for any visitors who might drop by.
Of course I made dessert too. Carrot Cake with Cool Whip/ Cream Cheese frosting.
