Everything Must Change

The time has come... After having been here for the past 10 months, she's going home to Mom! The caseworker came for his regular monthly visit yesterday. When I asked him how the case was coming along he told me that the reunification team had been put in place and that she can return home to her Mom Friday morning.

My daughter didn't even know. I was able to call and give her the good news! She was speechless. Excited and probably scared too. Alissa herself has mixed feelings. She has become part of this family, and was content to be here so I imagine it will be a big change. It will be for all of us! I had my days when I longed for the peace and quiet I had taken for granted a year ago. Now, I just think I'll feel empty. Alissa will surely be missed! Her enthusiasm and spirit in the house was a treasure. She is a survivor and a kind soul!

I will be packing her things up today as she will picked up by the parent aide in the morning. I really 

hope this past year made a difference to the living conditions and circumstance in which she will be 

navigating from. I can only think it has to be positive, solid change. I have had a lot of big changes this year with a lot of heartbreaking, profound sadness. I just want to shake this year off and focus on the things that I can do and that fulfill me. Although this year has been full of big changes, in ways, I felt like I was on hold. I'll be glad to feel the weight of the responsibility 24/7 lifting. 

Change is interesting in that it always forces you to take a look at your life. The good, bad, ugly and wonderful things that make up your life. I can envision spending some time to evaluate and revisit my hopes and dreams. I surely hope to find something good in all this work of life I've been doing. 

 

Praying For Time 

Maybe we should all be praying for time... When I decided that I wanted to do this cover, Alissa had just come to me. I remember being totally connected and invested in the darkness of her life circumstance that brought her here to me. I was bewildered and angry I felt as if I could totally relate to this dark message! The darkest song I cover but, 

it helped me to deal with the emotions I was having about life at that particular time. 

I lost my Dad shortly after she came to me also. I was really questioning a lot of things about what all of this life thing is. A lot of deep reflection and pondering life this year.

As he was passing, this song came to me in spirit. I covered this in his final hours and I had felt this songs message would have depicted my fathers ideology.

 

Imagine

Imagine there's no heaven- it isn't hard to do...

A virtual ton of emotional stuff this year omg! 

You just do the best you can do. I naviagate with my own mission statemenet that I wrote last year.

Whatever I touch, there I will prosper.

Whatever touches me, I will make better!