This, is the face of a woman determined to fake it till you make it. I am living this song. Trust me, if this song were to become, "something", it would be the sweetest retribution for having lived this! I wrote it as an outlet for my feelings of entrapment. Being a career housewife has not served me well as a person in my own right! After I wrote this, I felt empowered. I felt as if I had found my voice and I was speaking out against the injustices that I live. I had hoped that it would change my life for the better. I was sad that I couldn't get this anywhere that could help me. I was shouting this out from my heart, only to have it fall flat and on deaf ears. This is a song about abuse and empowerment.
I don't know what I thought would happen through my personal revelation. I didn't think in fantasy. I just spoke my truth! This is the very first song that I wrote. A burning need to recognize and verbalize my broken self. Don't know whats harder to except...my plight, or my lack of self care that got me here! Still, the element of hope remains that I can change my own destiny! I know that I'm not alone. Many women are living this type of existence! October is domestic violence awareness month. If you or someone you love is living this life, be kind! Understand that it isn't easy to leave for many reasons!
When you live abuse for an extended period of time, it becomes an insurmountable hole to climb out of. Check out the definition of Stockholm syndrome... We all stay for a myriad of reasons. I believe that the devestation/ hit to our core self esteem is the culprit and the glue that keeps us stuck. Other factors of socio- economic and child custody issues are contributing factors. So, before you judge anyone for not leaving a miserable marriage, please understand that you probably don't understand what they are living! It is never as easy as just walking away until you really know that you can fly on your own! It takes a lot of reassurance and confidence to accomplish starting a new life. The mere thought can be daunting for those who have been conditioned to feel incapable an ineffectual. Verbal and physical abuse are a psychology!
Something More Than Nothing (lyrics)
Why can't you see that I'm real and breathing and I , have a wish to fulfill.
I want to know that there's more than nothing, in my heart I know that there's something.
I know there've been times before when I should've walked out that door and I, sometimes think that I want to- but I know, how far can I go, it's not just me so I have to just be.
I find myself trying to explain things away but the pain of loving you, it follows me. So I wait for the day I can feel FREE to be just me. So I wait, for the day, that I can change something more than nothing.
If I could do it all again, differently, I'd write, a better part for me. I'd show the world just who I can be, the Queen, of something more than nothing!
I'd take the time to invest in me, to see all that I can be! It's not enough to settle, for nothing! If you heart tells you this than find something and you'll see, just like me, that you can do something more than nothing!
No comments:
Post a Comment