Doing What I Can Do This I Can Do

The  glass table in between the chairs was my Mom’s. This has been kicking around for more than 30 years I’m sure. It was outside on a patio. I needed a table to replace the table that I had been using between the chairs. I cleaned this table up and spray painted it a metallic copper color.  It works for the space so, I’m happy with it. 
Carpet cleaning is next. I may just rent a Rug Dr. and do it myself one day. 
My very old family piano. The first piano I ever played as a child. I will never part with this!

The corner cabinet was my Aunt Vi’s. When she passed, she left me several pieces of her old furniture. So near and dear and I’ve always been grateful to have them!

My furniture isn’t grand, it’s old and repurposed. I however love my home and The memories I have in each piece. They make up my history and I am content, with what I have.
I do however, need a new car. That will be the goal in the next few years. Ours are years old! I’m talking our Chrysler van is 17 years old and my Chrysler PT Cruiser is 12 years old! My husband needs to replace the van. Half of the time we have to pray that it will pass Smog testing lol. We are limping along with the old vehicles. We don’t feel we can leave town for fear of a vehicle breakdown lol. I suppose we have held onto these cars so long because we don’t want the burden of an expensive car payment, exorbitant registration fees and higher car insurance premiums. We enjoy living our lives, going out to eat on the weekend and having a little money to go to an occasional concert or something. Now that Zoe is in high school, life is becoming extremely expensive! She is joining the LaCrosse team and wow… expensive! We are glad that she wants to be a part of this team and we will support her every way we can with this choice. I hope she can do well and get scholarship money along this path. Academically, she is terrific. So, investing in kids is a huge priority. Car payment,ugh!
I see my older children juggling bills, high rents and car payments and it just seems so stressful!!! I know plenty of people are in the same boat but geez… stress and more stress is what I see here.
I have kids now at both ends of the spectrum. A child in kindergarten and, a highschool freshman. I am uber driver to both. Busy schedules and plenty of daily chores and activities to accomplish to keep this homefront running smoothly. Surely I should feel as if my contribution is adequate and necessary. Somehow, I don’t at all. I wish to able to swoop in and save us all by making big money lol. As if by miracle I could *hit a career… I have been a stay at home Mom so long I don’t know what it would feel like to be earning money. I tried to find work a few months ago and things kept coming up at home that I needed to support and be here for. My husband had been dogging me to find work until all of these things started coming up with the kids and now he sees it’s rather impossible for me to do without the kids taking a huge back seat. So, I have been home and supporting the household, holding down the fort!
I dream of making good money doing something. Contributing monetarily to all of this would be so exhilarating. Having the security of knowing I could do it on my own if I need to would be so amazing. For now, I’m still investing in my family’s well being, I guess that has to be enough? 
I leave you with this today, my one selfish, independent indulgence of my time and energy.
This is who I want to be. My childish I’ll never grow up “Me”. I wish like hell I could make money doing this!