Birthdays Are For Reflection

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This is from a few years ago… Still my most viewed video to date…
I decided to try something different with my SoundCloud channel. I have included some Spoken Word poems that I have written.  It might be silly, even stupid to have done so!  I merely want these written pieces, to be heard. They wouldn’t make good song lyrics and maybe they aren’t even good poems, I just wanted them to be heard. They are of my true life experience and straight from my core. I have found I really want to write when I am angry! I suppose it is the only authentic outlet. To bleed words, is to acknowledge the pain. I can be at peace once I have written about my anger and frustration. My own kind of therapy! I have found maybe even verbalizing the angry writings takes this to a complete level of acknowledgement and release. I don’t feel the need to promote these writings, it’s enough that they are there on my channel. They are in a Spoken Word playlist on my channel. I maybe find that I’m more cynical and jaded, the older I get. Gone is the gal who was accused by many, of wearing rose colored glasses. Life will force you to take them off…
I have begun the process of Foster Care licensing. This will be a 4 month endeavor. A lot of paperwork and inspection. Inspection of property as well as in depth backround checks. Ten weeks of classes and instruction. All of it warranted and good in my book! I’m glad to learn and have a better understanding about how to help this beautiful child! I’m hoping that the extra money, monthly stipend coming in will help with my husband’s resentment. He is so resentful of having to take this on. He’s a step-grandparent who has never gotten along with this child’s mother. I understand where he is in his thinking. I don’t share his feelings! This is my Granddaughter and my daughter that are in peril. I feel a real need to step up and in! If I focus on the emotional aspect of this situation/life circumstance, it renders me motionless. I sink into despair, and hopelessness. Neither of which are conducive to being proactive and effectual!

One thing that I found out thrilled me. A child that spends one or more days in Foster Care is entitled to a free college education! I’m thrilled that Alissa will have a college education. I will raise her with every intention to steer her toward a college bound life. I think it is an amazing opportunity! I did not know this about foster kids!
Alissa starts kindergarten in the fall and I am hoping to be able to find money making time then. Money, money, $$, makes this damn world go round… So far all of this creativity that I chosen to explore has produced no monetary improvement in my life. That in itself is a big disappointment! So much creative energy that I have put out with no monetary return. Awwww!
Today is my birthday. I think birthdays are a good time for reflection. A nice long candlelight bubble bath is an excellent way to take time to reflect. That is on my agenda! It’s heating up this week in the valley of the sun. Check this out!