This Fool's Overtures Are Humbled

Nothing is ever what it seems. Perspective and perception change when you are actually faced with the realities of any given situation. I just googled myself… I found that someone compiled my music that I posted on Soundcloud into a CD and is trying to sell it for profit. I didn’t give permission and I am not benefiting in any way from my music but someone else gets to?

In fact, I see my music and name all over the place. My blog posts… Everything that has my name on it is there to see. Everything I ever wrote about Roger Hodgson is there… How embarrassing…that man must think I’m a stalker rather than an enthusiastic fan…

  Anything that I have ever said including my Amazon review on a Little Golden Book is there for all to see. Holy hell, I need a social media person to go in and clean that all up…

It’s no wonder that everything I do is for free. All of my energy here, and everywhere I touch in social media is for free. I can hear my mother’s voice telling me “Why buy the cow, if the milk is free.” Talk about depressing…all this that I have done to try to promote my self in music, just looks ridiculous…Google yourself, it’s humbling. I bet it would cost me a pretty penny to clean this all up!

So many people have taken my music and are trying to sell it for profit. Pages and pages of scammers…

Here is screen shot of one of the things that I found so blatantly out there. People trying to profit from my hard work and efforts…

I have been trying to justify what social media has done for me?

Just OMG!

I’m embarrassed and I haven’t done anything very embarrassing!  I don’t even have a traffic ticket! Mostly my life is mundane and uneventful as a housewife in the suburbs. No scandal, plenty of mediocrity and caretaking of people. Yet I am shamed by my social media presence that makes me look ridiculous…

Hopefully it can be construed as passionate. I’m passionate about my music and the artists that are my idols! Roger Hodgson, Rick Davies and Robert Lamm come to mind. Speaking of which, I read that Chicago is being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame today! Long overdue…My favorite band as a kid…

I carved this wooden plaque as a school project when I was 14 lol. Love you Chicago!

Yet another post to add to the social media clutter associated with my name!  I mean well…This song comes to mind today.

Fool’s Overture , written by Roger Hodgson (my SoundCloud cover), of this amazing original!

Roger is such an amazing composer. When I watch this, I wonder what it would be like to have full orchestra accompaniment on a piece of music that came from my mind to become this grand… What would that be, to have this in your head?!!!!!!

My adoration for this arist and his accomplishments has influenced me greatly as a wanna be artist. I wonder if in Roger’s formative years as a musician, he ever sat down at home and played covers of songs? Who and what influenced his musical direction? Who has he listened to? I would love to hear the play list on his iPod!

As I scroll through the clutter of things associated with my name on social media, I add this today. I may be a fool, I may be foolish to think what I have to give musically is worth money… My overtures and intent are humbled!

My Mother's Goulash A Hearty Quick Weeknight Meal

*Yield : About 10 hearty servings!

 

Homemade Goulash. If you have never had this or have never prepared this, it’s easy. Rather like spaghetti. A simple but really tasty week night meal.

Ingredients:

1 Small package of 80/20 ground beef

1 Small package of ground sweet Italian sausage

1 pound bag of elbow macaroni fully cooked

1 can of diced tomatoes

1 -1 /2 cup of water

1 medium sized can of tomato paste 

1 medium sweet onion

1 can of sweet corn, fully drained

1 teaspoon sea salt

1/2 teaspoon ground pepper

1 teaspoon ground paprika 

1 tablespoon of granulated garlic

1 teaspoon Italian seasoning

Sugar for tomato sauce to taste about, (2 teaspoons)

Grate Parmesan cheese for garnish on each serving
Instructions:

*Boil noodles to desired doneness

*While noodles are cooking, break up meat in large sauce pan. Brown beef and pork together. Add diced onion, spices to browned meat and cook together for about 5 min.

Add the whole can of diced tomatoes, tomato paste and water together and incorporate well.

Add the sugar to taste. Mix well.

In large pot, incorporate the cooked noodles and sauce together. Mix gently but well. In each bowl of Goulash grate a little Parmesan cheese on top! Serve warm with crusty bread and nice salad! There ya go, an easy weeknight meal with plenty of leftovers for lunch…

 

What Should I Call You I Am Seeking

 
‘Twas a day of relaxation! I took a few hours to work on a few songs that are so near and dear. Reflective of my current life and feelings.

George Michael, a brilliant song writer, hit the nail on the head with this jewel in music history. Deep, personal and very dark! This truly is ageless and timeless in meaning! I love
and identify with this song on such a personal level. Even if I don’t have a specific affiliation
to a particular sect of organized religion. This doesn’t mean that I’m not spiritual. This song speaks about life, living and the disappointment in society “God” must experience within the general population. We all could learn to treat each other better and become more beneficial to society as a whole.

I myself am feeling disappointment in those within my circle. Sad to watch people that I love tank their lives. Especially sad when I am left picking up the pieces of their bad choices! 

 SoundCloud cover of George Michael’s, (click here)  Praying For Time.

My own original intiltled, Lost In The Game. Very much a big part of how lost and invisible  I feel in the music industry. I sure wish that I had a mentor! Someone who could help get me going in a good direction! 

Click here for this SoundCloud link  Lost In The Game.
A little help here please “Universe”, God, wherever you are! 

Thanks for listening! 

tynajoymetzner

Music, Home, Family, Relationships, Life and Living. Daily Life

Hiding In My Shell And Sorting It Out

   

  

 Good thing we kept Zoe’s old furniture! 

This started off as the home office yesterday morning… I spent the whole day getting this room together for Alissa. I also had to incorporate the office back into the bedroom. I did this by myself so it was a long and tiring day. I think that it turned out as best it could have. I’m happy with it! I think Alissa will feel more at home in her own girly space.

   
This was a tremendous undertaking for the day but now it’s done! This is the only space that I had for the office to go! We are feeling the growing pains…

     
Gnome down…the javelina’s hit this yard again! I moved all of my pots to the backyard and created a garden…
Spent Sunday afternoon with a screwdriver in these cracks between the brick work removing the grass… So a lot of yard work was accomplished. All of this is like spring cleaning…

  
 
I hope to be able to spend some time on music today! I think I have earned some time to create! 

Click here for my SoundCloud Link!

Hide In Your Shell written by Roger Hodgson!
Oh by the way, I heard that Roger Hodgson is playing in the states in the fall! I’m praying that he will play as he did before,near me @Wild Horse Pass Resort! I am so hoping to be able to meet him one day! I may be able to get some meet and greet passes this time around! They haven’t announced the U.S.A tour dates yet.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to come face to face with this lifelong idol… I chose to share “Hide In Your Shell” today because the meaning and spirit applies to how I am so feeling!  I am feeling alone and as if the world expects too much of me. I feel rather taken advantage of. This song is so relatable! 

I am still trying to wrap my head around my Granddaughter being part of my daily life and responsibility. I thought I was going to get to downsize the responsibility and have more enjoyment and self fulfillment! I know, suck it up Grandma !!! Ugh!

Where's My Escape Hatch

tynajoymetzner

Music, Home, Family, Relationships, Life and Living. Daily Life

Where Is My Escape Hatch?

The worst pic of us ever!
Here we are emotionally drained and totally spent. This was taken at my daughters apt. the other day. This may be one of the most honest and telling posts I have generated to date. I will air our dirty laundry in the hopes that I can empathize with a lot of you that find yourself in a similar circumstance. What I’m about to tell you is painful and hard to admit but needs to be said! Please, please get involved in the lives of your G-Kids especially if things aren’t going well. Evaluate, look and for God sake, go with your gut! None of us wants to think/ admit that our kids are failing as a parent. It’s painful to your core to watch them fail but much better when you can admit that they are and take action. I have raised four daughters, the last is going into highschool in the fall.

I could finally see a light at the end of a long tunnel, (my oldest is nearly 32), my youngest will be 14 this year. I have raised kids my whole adult life. I could see a time and have been enjoying the freedom of more time for myself. I have been very focused on my pursuit of creating and executing music…

writing songs and putting together covers of music near and dear to me…I have hopes of actually doing something in music that I can receive monetary compensation for! That has been my dream and a lot of my focus the past few years.

Point being that if you think I wanted to take on the responsibility of starting over in child rearing with a 5 year old that sure wasn’t in my thought process! I wasn’t going there in my head I can tell you!

We had Alissa prior for 11 months this past year. It was a hard freakin year for all of us. We did the best that we could which I believe was a pretty good life for Alissa. We had hope that her Mom would be sincere in her effort to make a nice life for this sweet gal. Especially after the year long threat of having her taken by CPS. This wasn’t the case. I could scream, rant and rave at her my daughter if it would help! It won’t make a damn bit of difference. It won’t change the wrongs or even make logical sense to my 29 year old severely messed up kid. She has whatever warped thinking in her head to justify some really bad judgement. I believe she has been impaired for life in her thinking by her addictions and her life choices. To say that I’m disappointed would be an understatement!  Mortified with a sense of that “Twilight Zone” feeling. That feeling of an altered reality that is so strange that you can’t get it to make sense.  It defies logic…

Tragic for all of us. She has altered the lives and the reality of so many of us with her selfish, and uncaring decisions. I’m furious! I have decided that I am stepping out of her picture. I am removing myself from contact with her. Not to teach her a lesson, it’s beyond that. I just want to be free of the worry! I want peace! I will raise her daughter but I can be done with her hell on earth realities.

I haven’t even touched base here with what she has done to get us all here. I’m too ashamed to speak about what she has allowed to become her 5 year olds life experience. No kid should have to live this way. I hope that we can help her overcome it.

Unthinkable, unspeakable!

I resent like hell having to pick up the pieces of her daughters torn up little life but, I will!

Praying For Time

Praying For Time And Easter Greetings To All

Happy Easter! I hope that you had a wonderful time today. I just now sat down to chill out. I have been cooking and cleaning all day. I made a big dinner. I never plan on it being so much work but it always is. I like to cook but the clean-up takes awhile. Always longer than I anticipate.

I made two big meals and cleaned up after two big meals as well lol. I made a nice Easter Brunch. Eggs, bacon, fruit and home baked wildberry muffins.
 We didn’t even get to coloring eggs until this afternoon. Zoe had a busy social weekend so she finally had time to sit down with me today to color them with me. Silly really because I just turned around and peeled them to make deviled eggs to go with the ham dinner.

Although she wasn’t happy to have her picture taken, she spent a lot of time on the patio coloring eggs with me. She made the muffins for breakfast! Helped with dinner. She offered to help! She is a great helper in the kitchen now. I appreciate this precious kid!
Egg coloring fun!!!

 A friend of mine brought flowers to me this morning! She is a sweet friend that I’m so grateful for. We have fun. She surprised me with these beautiful Stargazer Lillies. 
Ham dinner with every side you can think of it seemed lol… 
No G-Kids today as they all had their own egg hunts and things to do. We had been invited to Britt’s Egg Hunt and festivities yesterday. I went to see daughter Lexie and Alissa yesterday. Only to find that my daughter isn’t doing well again and I fear that she is slipping into a deep hole that will lead to her losing custody of her daughter… Awful. I’m heartbroken but I can see the writing in the wall. This isn’t going well for Alissa. So sad to see! I am realistic to know that I can’t save the world either. I have no idea how this will all play out. I do however know that something needs to be done!

The darkest song that I know but so true to life and living…

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The Great Gig In The Sky Wishing For Silent Lucidity

It was still here today  but anything but quiet! They SRP, (our local electric provider ) is doing underground construction / running fiber optic cables underground in my neighborhood.here. as I have been trying to record around the noise!  It’s been a challenge to focus here in the house as the jack hammers have been going for days now. I did however work hard on a few things today!  Here is what I uploaded on SoundCloud today!
The Great Gig In The Sky
And…  Silent Lucidity

*So, I actually got a lot accomplished this week musically! With Could It Be Magic and my original Something More Than Nothing instrumental .

Easter is in the air as well so plenty is going on in and around this holiday!

More bunnies!

I worked on Hide In Your Shell. A very challenging song written by Roger Hodgson. I will never be able to post it on YouTube. If you read my blog you probably understand that Roger Hodgson’s manager has employed social media people to find and take down any music  of Roger’s that isn’t put on the Internet by him or his employees. The only artist that I have encountered that has a problem with my covering him. I play from my little golden room and haven’t earned a dime for anything that I have posted. Awwwww! How I would love to make money! I hardly command even recognition so I’m not sure about the fuss but ok… Anyway, the challenge of the song keeps me wanting to play it! It would be hard enough to play the keyboard but to play it and sing at the same time is crazy complex!

Enjoy the Easter holiday as it is a fun holiday to participate in! Color some eggs, eat some jelly beans…enjoy spring!