tynajoymetzner

Taking Charge Of My Space And Livelihood

My project is finally done! I got rid of all of the wood! I thought I’d never get this backyard clean up project done. The firewood and mesquite branches were endless. I was able to find a man on “OfferUp”, who wanted all the wood. He brought a chain saw set up. I helped him cut it all and pack it up in his truck to cart off. Now when I look out over the backyard I feel a sense of peacefulness! Stillness and quiet comes to mind.

I finished my yard project just in time to start my new job. It was a ton of work but terrific for my mind, body and spirit. The perfect therapy for sure!

This is just the bark that fell off of all that wood…I’ll dispose of the rest of the debris little bit by little bit in my trash can weekly.

It’s official! Name tag and apron, let’s go! I actually have another full day of training on the computer. I’ll be starting training in the deli department soon…

I began my new job yesterday. I’m in training to become a deli worker at a local Frys grocery. This is the first job I’ve had in decades. I, was a homemaker for decades! 
I’m a Union worker… an essential worker now.

My first day of work.

I’m starting to navigate outwardly. I’m coming out of my shell… I was hiding and grieving and angry, so angry! I finally posted a statement on my Facebook page. Everything thing I ever post there is so positive and pretty lol. So contrary to how awful life can get. I decided to get real although, I didn’t go into what’s really going on! All you gather from this post is a disconnect… This is the first I’ve mentioned anything on my Facebook page! I felt it was time to announce the split.

*Sometimes, life and the people closest to you throw you a major curveball. Leaving complete destruction and life as you knew it to be, has imploded. With far reaching, unthinkable devastation. Every person who trusted and believed in the family they thought they had, has been emotionally and financially obliterated!

My whole family, is currently under reconstruction, reorganization and a major reboot! Our lives, forever changed…

Tomorrow, I start my new job after being a homemaker for decades. I’m working on embracing change but oh my, it’s a lot. I’m hoping to rise up and become an inspiration. Grow my testimony and my skill set…
Or maybe, just to make it will be enough for now?!

*Oh by the way, I am cleaning houses as a side hustle. PM if you know of or need housecleaning or homemaking services.
I appreciate all of you and our friendship!
Just thought it was time to get real here.
My new motto is, “Fake it till you make it”. Deep down inside, I’m shaking in my shoes…

Bougainvillea’s are a pain to trim. Big long thorns that hurt. Glad to have trimmed them back though, they are brambly! 

I’m getting my self set up to navigate life. I have some terrific close friends and family. I am grateful for the encouragement and support! 

I’ve found my side hustle brings me peace and joy. Cleaning houses is something I actually enjoy doing for people! I just need to build up a clientele, a few steady paying house gigs for that extra security. Yes it takes 2 or 3 jobs to make this world go around with a 14 year old to raise.

I’ve hit the ground running…

 tynajoymetzner

Embracing The Culinary Delights Of My Ancestry Story

This is my first year of truly celebrating since I found out my true biological dna revelation. My newly discovered Native American heritage inspired me to make a Cherokee meal. I found this recipe on the web and it is delicious! So delicious it may be a new yearly treasure.

This may very well be a new tradition as it was unique and truly full of flavor. Oklahoma Frybread Tacos! They, are soooo good! My biological father’s family came from Muskogee Oklahoma. I imagine this meal is similar to one my father Bobby may have eaten growing up? I bet my Gram Faye, made a recipe much like this. I heard from a cousin that her frybread was amazing. I also was told she was a wonderful cook! I so wish I hadn’t missed out on knowing these wonderful people!

I would have cherished the recipes and learning about the rich Native American history that is throughout both sides of my biological dad’s parents. 

This is just a start of my Native American exploration journey. Creating and sharing food recipes is a great way to learn about a culture. I feel maybe just a little bit more connected to my authentic self . I’m glad that I made an attempt to join in and immerse myself into the culinary aspect of this rich culture. What would it have been like to grow up with the knowledge and sense of belonging to this culture? How would that have changed me and my perspective? What would I have gained being raised at least partly with the lessons and traditions of Native American history?

I’m working through the heartbreaking realization that I’ll never have the chance to know my biological father. He passed away long before I found out that he was my father. I’m still struggling with realization and losses.

I’ll have to make do with whatever I can learn myself about the people, traditions and the culture. I have approached trying to become part of the Cherokee tribe. I will need to find a knowledgeable person to guide me through this difficult process. My situation is complicated but not impossible. I really would feel blessed, grateful and accepted if I were able to join and be recognized as a tribal member.

My friend gave me a pair of sweet Native American earrings last year. This is my first time wearing them today. 

This is the recipe I chose to make in honor of this celebration. 

I cut up a lot of trimmings for these tacos…

I made the authentic chili that goes on top of the frybread. It’s so delicious…

Making the Frybread was rather easy ! Not as involved as anticipated. I doubled the recipe. 

I flattened them out even more before frying them. 

Not bad for my first time! They were pretty easy to make. 

My completed taco. 

A better pic. 
maybe? 

Charlotte sat on Luna’s kennel watching me in the kitchen this afternoon. She’s sweet and so much company ❤️. 

I hope to be able to write more positive and and loving things along my journey to learn more about my Native American Cherokee heritage. 

Pumpkin pie just sounded good so I made one! 

I hope you had a wonderful day! Thanks for taking the time to read my blog post!

Praying For Time In 2024

 tynajoymetzner

Praying For Time-

As we have had so many media distractions over current events and the state of the world. One thing remains a constant. Timeless and ageless, one of my favorite vintage musical treasures… My Cover ~Praying For Time- (written by George Michael).

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFuraCYt/

Have a wonderful Sunday evening! 

 tynajoymetzner

Breaking Bread And Rewriting First Impressions

My bread machine brings me joy! I haven’t used this machine in years. I pulled it out of my pantry and cleaned the heck out of it. Then I made a trip to my grocery store to stock up on bread making essentials. Yeast, flour and my favorite buttermilk powder that I enjoy adding to my basic white bread recipe.

This powder adds a delicious richness to my bread recipes. 

I made my first loaf in years and my family already plowed through half of it this morning. I currently have another loaf in progress in my machine. The novelty will wear off I’m sure but I’m enjoying the process. 

My decision to start making my own bread again came from reading the label of ingredients in my purchased packaged bread. So many unnatural and processed ingredients! Not appetizing! At least I know what is and isn’t in my homemade bread. Im trying to become more mindful of eliminating processed foods where I can? Not to mention that it tastes so much better. I think there is satisfaction in making bread. Even if you cheat and use a bread machine to make it!

Charlotte was absolutely adorable trying to bite the ear of my ceramic cat !🤣 I couldn’t resist attempting to capture this moment. Of course I made a TikTok post out of this w/music… here’s the link⬇️

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFSjcLPV/

While you are there, please like and follow me. I know, shameless TikTok plug…

Back to bread- 

I can’t help but find myself wishing that I could break bread with my bio dad’s family. I can’t help but wonder and think about what it would be like to have them for Thanksgiving. I’d love to be able to sit with them and learn about the family and my biological father that I missed out on knowing. As well as getting to know each of them personally. What a beautiful blessing it would be to initiate communication and goodwill toward the very woman who was so cruel to me when I approached her. I made a phone call to her after I discovered my true identity.

This woman was merely the niece of my father’s wife. I was born long before he married his wife so it wasn’t as if Uncle Bobby had cheated on her Aunt. The cruelty of that dismissive encounter has been ever present in many of my quiet moments. The absolute unwillingness to take an interest in hearing my story or even in knowing my name was particularly hurtful and so unnecessary.

If I had the opportunity to rewrite that unfortunately event in my life and in the life of this person, I sure would! I’d love a do over and I would hope to approach it differently. I was probably too direct and somehow perceived as threatening? My mere existence was perceived as a threat, that much was loud and clear.

Given an opportunity, I’d look to impart curiosity and a desire for acknowledgement and interest. Even a desire for a meet and greet like breaking bread at my Thanksgiving gathering. That would be my ultimate dream! Here’s my manifestation, it goes like this.

“I’m so happy and grateful to have found relationships in my biological father’s family! I’ve received great acceptance and new family members to bond with. We enjoy each other and I am grateful !”

Lyah Leflore, you and yours are always welcome to attend my Thanksgiving gathering. I make a nice meal with all the trimmings. Let us break bread and get to know each other! You’ve been invited❤️.

There ya go! 

Bobby J Brock (my father) in high school 

No clue how old he was here…A cousin that I found recently sent me this photo.

Bobby Joel Brock my Biological father. Probably around the time I was born? 

I was about 4-5 years old here. I inherited his curly hair.

 tynajoymetzner

A Summer Favorite Peach Cobbler Dump Cake

~Peach Cobbler Dump Cake~

The easiest most delicious peach cobbler I have ever had! This is a keeper and I will be making this a few times a year. 

I bought (4) 15.2 oz cans of peaches. Heavy syrup peaches are the best.

Drain 2 of the 4 cans thoroughly. The syrup from the other 2 cans is the perfect amount of syrup that will create a caramel sauce.

*Add all 4 cans to a 13×9 inch baker. *Sprinkle 1 teaspoon of cinnamon on top of the peaches. *Sprinkle a small amount of sea salt over the top.

*Sprinkle a box of cake mix evenly on top of your peaches and pat it down with your clean hand. Do not mix. Cake mix will be dry. You can use a yellow cake mix. I however used this and it is absolutely delicious!

* I melted 3/4 cup of butter (1 and 1/2 sticks of butter). *Pour the melted butter slowly on top of the cake mix. Cover the entire top with the melted butter. I’ve also seen people cut the butter into slices and place uniformly on top of the cake mix.

*Bake the cake for 50-60 min in a 350 degree oven.

Baking for about an hour gave this cobbler a golden crust as well as a perfect caramel peach sauce! Oh my it’s good! 

I plan to serve this to friends, with French Vanilla Ice-Cream.

 tynajoymetzner

I’m Lying Next To You In Silent Lucidity

The sky was full of dramatic clouds and color! Oh my goodness I don’t know that I’ve seen anything so spectacular in the sky. 

This in particular was almost chilling. Eerie for sure! The black and orange like fire was surreal! I almost felt as if I wasn’t seeing a sky of earth. This was taken the day before the full moon.

All of these photos were taken from my driveway. In the Phoenix suburb of Ahwatukee. 

The beautiful sunset felt ominous and suggestive of change to me. Like a change happening for many, not just me. A change that will alter our perspective and how we see the world. It’s just the sense I had while looking at the sky. The winds of change are coming! I’ve said with great conviction this year that “this is an interesting time to be alive!”

On a more personal note, my 35 year old daughter is moving to Texas next week. She and her kids will be joining her significant other there. I’m so sad! I want her to be happy of course. This has been planned for months but now she actually is leaving. 

The reality for me is how small my world is becoming. My husband isn’t working anymore and that has been incredibly difficult! He is a difficult person! Extremely negative and angry. It’s absolutely miserable. I feel like I’m on the shortest leash with a ton of eggshells to walk upon. Exhausting, disheartening and so not how I want to grow old!!!

This “until death do you part”, expectation is a trap! Marriage can be sadistic! The structure of marriage is power over as I see it. My rose colored glasses were literally knocked off my face a long time ago. Darn it! I was a real romantic for most of my life. I navigated from a place of love. I still do with most people but oh man I’ve been tested for a very long time now. Is this character building? 

Anyway, I’m reminded to meditate, manifest and look for the beauty of life. My mission here is to impart love and joy! 

The lyrics in Silent Lucidity suggest and remind me that I’m not alone. Someone is surely watching over me. 

My Cover on TikTok ⬇️

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNvTnJhK/

Have a good week! 

Silent Lucidity

Song by Queensrÿche

Silent Lucidity 

Lyrics-

Hush now, don’t you cry
Wipe away the teardrop from your eye
You’re lying safe in bed
It was all a bad dream spinning in your head

Your mind tricked you to feel the pain
Of someone close to you leaving the game of life
So here it is, another chance
Wide awake you face the day, your dream is over
Or has it just begun?

There’s a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn’t realize and you were scared

It’s a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
Commanding in another world
Suddenly you hear and see this magic new dimension

will be watching over you
(I) am gonna help you see it through
(I) will protect you in the night
(I) am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity

I can’t do this
Visualize your dream, record it in the present tense
Put it into a permanent form
If you persist in your efforts, you can achieve dream control
How’s that then, better?
Dream control, dream control
Help me

If you open your mind for me
You won’t rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin

Living twice at once, you learn
You’re safe from the pain in the dream domain
A soul set free to fly
A round trip journey in your head
Master of illusion, can you realize
Your dream’s alive, you can be the guide but

will be watching over you
(I) am gonna help you see it through
(I) will protect you in the night
(I) I’m smiling next to you

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Chris Degarmo

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️!

 tynajoymetzner

From My Desk To Your Device Of Choice

This political climate has become utterly ridiculous and I am choosing to remove myself from politics.

I refuse to get caught up in the hatred and disrespect that having an opinion seems to create. You will not hear anything from me on the subject of politics! I refuse to be a player or a vessel for contention. 

Last election 4 years ago, was an utter shit show! All the bad feelings around humanity was disheartening! I’m not going to think about it. I’m sure not going waste energy trying to impose an opinion. 

These influencers and celebs who have a large following are ridiculous! Why the need to bash one or the other party? Why?! Is it necessary to be exclusive rather than inclusive?! When I see the faces of the outspoken celebrities, I only see the hate. Spoiled brats who have to have their way! Not a good look. 

Anyway, a thought came to me last week-“The best we ever feel, is when we are creating. Let’s do more of that!”

The email address is incorrect. My updated email address should you want to connect is, 

tynajoy.metzner@gmail.com 

I had a lot of fun creating this week. Here are a few links to my new TikTok posts. 

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNq8y4Ej/– When Your Pets Are Tired Of You Hanging Around The House 

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNq8Bv1D/ I made an easy Coconut Cream Ice-cream Pie

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNq8FSAh/The Best We Ever Feel Is When We Are Creating 

This mug is from what I consider to be my hometown. I lived on the central coast for 36 years! 

Morro Bay is likely foggy and chilly this time of year. A stark contrast to the 114 temps we have been experiencing here in Phoenix. I long to have a small condo there for a summer reprieve- A peaceful quiet place on the central coast of California. Beautiful big rock, Morro Rock. Nice sand dunes to climb. Cool ocean breeze. Sand dollars and shells to pick up. Long walks along the surf. Walking barefoot in the sand. Humidity! Moist air. Frizzy, curly hair… well thank god for hair product lol.

Clam Chowder and my favorite Fish & Chips… The Embarcadero, sweet souvenir shops galore. Sea Otters and Seals awwwwww! 

I’m manifesting…Have a good day !