tynajoymetzner

Breaking Bread And Rewriting First Impressions

My bread machine brings me joy! I haven’t used this machine in years. I pulled it out of my pantry and cleaned the heck out of it. Then I made a trip to my grocery store to stock up on bread making essentials. Yeast, flour and my favorite buttermilk powder that I enjoy adding to my basic white bread recipe.

This powder adds a delicious richness to my bread recipes. 

I made my first loaf in years and my family already plowed through half of it this morning. I currently have another loaf in progress in my machine. The novelty will wear off I’m sure but I’m enjoying the process. 

My decision to start making my own bread again came from reading the label of ingredients in my purchased packaged bread. So many unnatural and processed ingredients! Not appetizing! At least I know what is and isn’t in my homemade bread. Im trying to become more mindful of eliminating processed foods where I can? Not to mention that it tastes so much better. I think there is satisfaction in making bread. Even if you cheat and use a bread machine to make it!

Charlotte was absolutely adorable trying to bite the ear of my ceramic cat !🤣 I couldn’t resist attempting to capture this moment. Of course I made a TikTok post out of this w/music… here’s the link⬇️

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFSjcLPV/

While you are there, please like and follow me. I know, shameless TikTok plug…

Back to bread- 

I can’t help but find myself wishing that I could break bread with my bio dad’s family. I can’t help but wonder and think about what it would be like to have them for Thanksgiving. I’d love to be able to sit with them and learn about the family and my biological father that I missed out on knowing. As well as getting to know each of them personally. What a beautiful blessing it would be to initiate communication and goodwill toward the very woman who was so cruel to me when I approached her. I made a phone call to her after I discovered my true identity.

This woman was merely the niece of my father’s wife. I was born long before he married his wife so it wasn’t as if Uncle Bobby had cheated on her Aunt. The cruelty of that dismissive encounter has been ever present in many of my quiet moments. The absolute unwillingness to take an interest in hearing my story or even in knowing my name was particularly hurtful and so unnecessary.

If I had the opportunity to rewrite that unfortunately event in my life and in the life of this person, I sure would! I’d love a do over and I would hope to approach it differently. I was probably too direct and somehow perceived as threatening? My mere existence was perceived as a threat, that much was loud and clear.

Given an opportunity, I’d look to impart curiosity and a desire for acknowledgement and interest. Even a desire for a meet and greet like breaking bread at my Thanksgiving gathering. That would be my ultimate dream! Here’s my manifestation, it goes like this.

“I’m so happy and grateful to have found relationships in my biological father’s family! I’ve received great acceptance and new family members to bond with. We enjoy each other and I am grateful !”

Lyah Leflore, you and yours are always welcome to attend my Thanksgiving gathering. I make a nice meal with all the trimmings. Let us break bread and get to know each other! You’ve been invited❤️.

There ya go! 

Bobby J Brock (my father) in high school 

No clue how old he was here…A cousin that I found recently sent me this photo.

Bobby Joel Brock my Biological father. Probably around the time I was born? 

I was about 4-5 years old here. I inherited his curly hair.