Reinventing My Self Esteem

Self esteem is all in the eye of the beholder. Sometimes you lose it for awhile and you have to be reminded that you do still have some. You have to find it when it's hiding behind the darkness and the things you can't seem to effect and change! This cover is empowerment even if it's only likeable to me. It showcases my ability as an artist playing by ear. Everything that you hear in this piece is my musical cover effort. I layered two tracks of my musical input via my YamahaMOX8 keyboard. Everything you hear here, I played... The vocals are mine as well although I realize they aren't great. It was a great joy to create this cover in its entirety using just my old iPhone to record with. Probably the quality could be a ton better. Still, I'm proud to have tried to cover so many of the intricate parts of this original written by Roger Hodgson formerly of Supertramp. I'm not very tech savvy so it was a real revelation to me when I figured out how and that I could layer a track on top of another track via AudioCopy. I'll remind you that all I am really is a 56 year old housewife from the suburbs of Phoenix. A housewife that longs for a piece of the pie in the music world. Carving a niche for myself in some kind of money making, prosperous way? Lol that hasn't happened but I love to try. Never give up on your dreams even if they don't chase you back... Maybe?

This gave me great joy! It's the holidays and I'm choosing for the moment to appreciate the effort, not the result.

https://soundcloud.com/tyna-j-phipps/fools-overture-is-written-

Link⬇️

Fool's Overture is written by Roger Hodgson 

Quit Chasing Dreams That Don’t Chase You Back

I'm creating the big feast on Thursday. I always try to incorporate some little homemade craft for my table. This year Amelia and I had gathered pinecones on our day trip to northern AZ a few weeks ago. I wanted to use a few for our family dinner. This year my daughter and her family will be joining us.

I still have some grocery shopping that I need to do today. My daughter is bringing a few side dishes as well. Like most of you, things get pretty busy this time of year. The kids have a lot going on. I've been in hot pursuit of a low miles gently used Hyundai Accent Hatchback. At least I figured out what I would like to buy... My 2005 PT Cruiser is fading fast and I would like to replace it. Anyway, looking online for the best deal has taken a lot of my time and energy! The internet is a terrific tool. The gently used fleet cars via Hertz, Avis and Enterprise are possibly the most price efficient way to go. They are clean and have been serviced regularly. They generally have 30-40K miles on them. I looked into Carvana and Vroom and they may be easier and a more fun way to purchase a vehicle but a little more expensive. What a nice no hassle option though! Imagine having a car delivered to your door!

I'm thinking an Ironman Silver or dark gray color would be nice in the Accent. Maybe Black Friday deals will surface on these car options? As I said, a great deal of time and energy spent on looking for a used car.

I went to see Bohemian Rhapsody. I loved this movie! What great collective talent the band Queen was. Freddy Mercury was incredibly musically gifted. He had a hard and tortured lonely in ways life. Reinforcing my notion that nobody gets to have it all! Boy did he ever shine in the spotlight... I love his music and the amazing musical legacy he left the world. Talk about a contribution to the history of music! Loved the movie, loved the man too. I could just hug him! Although Freddy got most of the acknowledgement, the band Queen had so much collective talent and genius. Amazing musicians, all of them! The movie left me with a desire to cover some of music of Queen. Maybe I will try?

Speaking of Covers, I just read a bit about Article 13, all about copyright issues. The pros and cons for and against. I get it from a creator song writers perspective. I also know from my YouTube channel creator perspective that this will be the straw the brings down my channel. I have written a few songs of my own. I have worked on them and have reposted new versions of them and given them my best authentic me... Very rarely does anyone watch/ listen to my originals. My channel gets a fair amount of views but almost always, my Covers are viewed. So, with article 13, mine and many others don't stand a chance. I know for a fact I'm not the only artist/creator to have this issue. It's hard as heck to get people to listen to Original music.

▶️ My YouTube Channel Link

▶️ My Critic’s Choice Cover On SoundCloud

My hopes and my dreams of a YouTube channel that can grow and prosper was already dashed as YouTube keeps taking away features on small fish like me. I lost my ability to try to prosper when I suddenly had to have 1K followers... I have also lost the ability to utilize the geography stat that I so enjoyed viewing. It's a kick to see what songs do well in different countries! YouTube has been taking away vital stat info for growth and understanding of viewership for awhile. I used to be able to see gender pie graph charts etc... Now all I can see is what operating system and what type of device was used to view my videos. Pretty much useless info.

I'm sad that my fun as a creator on YouTube and on SoundCloud may be coming to an end. Awwww! I've had my channels for 5 years now. What this all did for me personally was amazing! Confidence, personal risk taking, and a chance for me to be authentic and an individual! I have loved every min of the time I have spent creating and being a creator! I have enjoyed tending my channel and having a platform to perform. My husband has pointed out more than once that had I been good enough, and talented enough, someone would have found and contacted me long ago... I have known that reality for a long time. I wanted to strive and to try! I wasn't going to let naysayers win! I have been determined and believe it or not, I have worked hard at trying to become better, good enough to become marketable and worthy of getting paid!

It hasn't been in the cards for me but I never give up... I suppose if they nail the door shut on my channel I won't have to feel like a quitter. I will have taken my love and passion for creating music as far as I could. I suppose that at some point, your dreams ought to chase you back...

The Holidays Are Emerging

Hi there! I'm working on a few songs for my channel. Holiday music is on my heart...

Emerging Holiday Music Project The Process ◀️ click!

Nous Vivons Ensemble is written by Gordon Lightfoot (My Cover) ◀️ click on the link.

The domestic chores won out as their were many this week. I got up at 4:30 am this morning to make a big batch of my homemade Mac & Cheese for my husbands office potluck. He asked me to make it.

I was glad that this went over well! I primarily bake my Mac but this is a creamy béchamel version. Easier to keep warm with a crock pot.

Election Day is behind us as well as the constant commercials with each candidate bashing the other! I'm glad that's over! I'm saddened that our Senate race is too close to call yet. I really have a terrible dislike for Kyrsten Sinema. I wrote a post about my great disdain for her way of thinking. She called Homemakers leeches on their husbands! She is a clueless politician and has no idea what it takes to run the business of "family".

Homemakers are a different class of individuals. We work hard, don't receive a paycheck but still feel that giving of our time and energy to our families for free with no paycheck or 401K is a benefit. Homemakers provide quality of life plain and simple. We pick up the back end of the business aspect, the front end of caregiving and everything from meal planning, party planning, cleaning , cooking, carting kids to and fro and being the family cheerleader. The means of support. The go to person for everything under the sun, moon and stars... all, for free. It's pretty much a tiring, thankless job but one that seems to enhance the family objective and support system.

Anyone who doesn't see this as a job, hasn't experienced first hand the benefits...

Anyway, I really hope that Arizona doesn't have to endure this Sinema gal and her strange politics in the senate! I'm usually not outspoken about politics but I take umbrage at this candidates offhanded, disparaging comment and view of stay at home caregivers!

She has other quirks and strange misleading ideals... no thanks!!!

Anyway, I've had my say at the polls and here on my blog so I guess I can give up rant?

Here we go. A peaceful serene picture of the park I walk/ run by on my route... whew. Meanwhile the holidays are right around the corner. It's almost time for planning, budgeting and food prep. Before I know it, I'll be up to my ears in "Holiday Splendor", a.k.a. holiday decorating.

Have a great Thursday evening!

Back To Status Quo At Least I Hope So

From this, ⬆️ to this ⬇️ in one week. I kid you not! What a difference a week makes!

Reseeding, the winter grass project is finished!

Of course the grass is still thin and needs to fill in but it's pretty! So nice to be finished with the ravages of the long summer heat and burning sun. The plants and the yard are coming back to life!

This week I worked on my cover of Could It Be Magic-⬇️

https://youtu.be/--89UPKkP4U

⬆️click on the link.

I have been so busy the past month between a 5 day family funeral in California, and a pretty bad car accident .

I'm still dealing with the residual stress of getting through the aftermath of both.

Car shopping wasn't fun. Spending 6 hours in a dealership only to feel raked over the coals in an effort to replace a car that was rather new and that we loved! Back to the same amount in monthly car payment. Like chasing your tail... We had just done that 18 months prior. Car shopping is a pain! Driving in Phoenix is a scary thing to do! I'm trying to let the wreck go and forgive the uninsured texter that took out my car but... I'm still angry!

I did however take some time to spend with G-Kids this past Tuesday. They had a grandparent lunch and book fair at their school. I was glad to attend! We had a great time together and I could tell that they were truly glad to have me there! They are a sweet bunch of kids and I'm so proud of them!

This cutie, ⬇️ had a Birthday as well the same day! Her parents bought for her the cutest puppy ever!

My youngest daughter who is a junior this year went to Homecoming last night...

I baked a batch of Cupcakes for all of the kids passing through the house this weekend...

I made my Chicken Salad to have on hand for quick meal fixes on the go.... this weekend was busy! I attended a Western University graduation acknowledgment ceremony yesterday. My husband received his Master's Degree a few months ago.

Whew! So much going on this week!

Halloween is coming up on Wednesday...

Could It Be Magic Music Only SoundCloud track! https://soundcloud.com/tyna-j-phipps/could-it-be-magic-piano-music. ◀️click! ⬆️

Have a terrific rest of your weekend !

Thanks for reading today's post!

Could It Be Magic Written by Barry Manilow Cover By Tyna J Phipps

Car Wreck Friday Taking It On The Chin

The one and only car that is running that we depend on is gone! My new as in I've only had it for about 18 months car is totaled! My Lulu from Honolulu destroyed. We bought her used. She came from Honolulu as a gently used rental car. I loved this vehicle and would joke about what a fun party car she was! We would bump with her kick ass stereo down the road. I would frequently take my teenager and her friends to lacrosse game venues as the kids played DJ from their phones...

I could tell you many sappy things expressing my love, appreciation and great joy of owning this Chrysler Town & Country Van. I realize she was just a car but to me, she was much more! What gracious luxury and space to move and travel in... Stow and go configuration possibilities making life and packing the car easy. The class and attention to small detail and functionality she had. The elaborate safety features she had including the headrests installed in the front that surely saved our necks from whiplash and possibly worse injuries we could have right now...

Thank God we had gap insurance to pay the car loan off. We are out all 7K worth of payments we have made, $650.00 for the new tires we put on her just last week! Also, a full tank of gas as we had just filled up.

Taken out by an uninsured motorist! I was taking my husband to work yesterday as we are down to one car. He was driving. We were at a stoplight almost to his place of employment. He watches his mirrors and saw the gal in a jacked up black Jeep Cherokee looking down at her phone. She was in the left lane, we were in the middle lane. She didn't really even brake, she just slammed into us going pretty darned fast! She came through the back hatch window and 
pushed us into the car in front of us. I was drinking coffee and my ceramic travel mug ended up injuring my chin. Either that or I hit the dashboard with my chin. I literally took it on the chin...

bruised and cut my chin. Doused both of us and the whole front of the car in coffee... As with most crashes, it felt endless, the noise the impact and distorted perception of what was happening as if I'm slow motion...

When we realized we were ok ish and it was over, we tried to figure out if we should stay in the vehicle or get out... Rush hour traffic was crazy and uncaring. Not one person came to see if we were ok. The person whom we hit in front just took off when the light turned green! The 25 year old gal that hit us got out of her car and went across the street. She never asked if we were ok or showed any kind of remorse. She appeared to have no injuries and didn't appear to be shaken up.

The police told us she has no insurance. She bought the vehicle a few days ago. We could see the temporary plates on it. How did she leave the lot where she bought it with no insurance?!!!

So we just have to eat it. All of it... Our insurance, our deductible, all of our payments, the one week old tires, the full tank of gas...

*The Collision shop texted me that just their visual assessment of the damages is around 16 thousand dollars. That's without full view and tearing into it. With the depreciation on a 2016 vehicle, I'm sure they are going to deem it a complete loss...

I'm beyond perplexed and frustrated! I'm pissed!!! I should probably focus on being grateful that my kids weren't in the car. My teenager sits back there on the side that really took the hit. My second grader would have been jolted badly had she been with us as well. We could have been in serious pain had it not been for the safety feature of the headrests that both deployed at impact. I should be glad to be alive! Instead, I am so sad for the loss of my car and all the stress that this is. All due to texting while driving or whatever distraction her phone was. Not to mention her driving without insurance...

Maybe tomorrow I'll be feeling grateful rather than furious? Today I'm just so sad...

R.I.P. Lulu, you were an awesome vehicle!

Rear Camera view.

Nora And The Phrase When It Rains It Pours

Dust Storm crossing into Arizona on Sunday.

We drove up into a dust storm on the way home from California on Sunday! Thought it was an interesting pic of the wall of dust we encountered.

From the car that sits awaiting repairs, to a new Air Conditioning Unit that will be installed tomorrow. New tires an absolute must on our car before we travel to California this weekend to attend my mother in laws funeral! So along with the remnants of hurricane Nora, plenty of rain has been falling around here! Life and living and cars are expensive! When it rains, it pours! I can still hear my mother telling me, "Into each life, a little rain must fall". Lol I get it... "Uncle" ! "Enough"! Surely something really great must be right around the corner. Something amazing and personally rewarding right?? Something smile worthy please!

We made a fast trip to Salinas last Friday to help with the funeral planning and just to see my husbands siblings. My mother in law had been ill for many years and this past year, was horrible for her. Her health declining so drastically that she ended up having a leg amputated 6 months ago. The remaining leg also had to be amputated above the knee a month ago. She was really forced to make agonizingly hard decisions near the end of her life. Nobody ever wants to have to make decisions like that and then have to live with them. Brave I'd say! Extremely brave!

She died under the care of Hospice and private caregivers. A peaceful, loving end at home... I can't say enough wonderful things about Hospice. My mother also was under the care of Hospice years ago when she passed. A wonderful non clinical way to leave the planet. Dying at home with dignity!

I will be cooking/baking all of Friday to make food for the weekend of funeral events. We have three days of events so I thought I would make a few meals. Hopefully to offset travel expenses and to share with in out of town relatives. My plan is to bake a few small cakes, a Bundt and a Texas Sheet Cake are what I have in mind. Three batches of cookies for all of the kids that will be in attendance as well. Hopefully it will help to feed the many well wishers and out of town relatives that will be dropping by. It will probably be a good showing of people, love and support.

The food after the service has been taken care of. The funeral is going to be a very nice, well thought out and rather formal and traditional send off. Three days of events from the viewing, a church service and then a military burial on Tuesday. My father in law is a retired Colonel in the army so the military burial along with a Catholic Mass service, is what he and the family have chosen. I'm sure it will be a wonderful recognition in honor of her life.

Downgraded to a tropical storm, Nora dumped the remnants of moisture left in this system on Arizona. In Phoenix, we topped out at around 3 inches of water in just a few hours. A lot of water for dry as a bone Phoenix! The cooler temps that this weather disturbance brought is greatly appreciated. Although it is humid as heck, it has cooled off a lot. Our air conditioner broke during the storm. It's was an old unit but still I couldn't believe the rotten timing financially! Ugh!When it rains, it pours...figuratively, literally and this week in my heart!

Pouring rain and a flood of tears and tests. This week has left me perplexed as to the challenge that living a good life can be. This is my mantra and inspiration this week. This is my YouTube Musical Cover-

https://youtu.be/-FT11-3D4O4 ⬆️click

*Live The Life is written by Michael W. Smith. This, link is my cover video! I'm trying to do my best but sometimes life and living on a shoestring budget is a pain in the ...