Casual Conversations written by Rick Davies
Who hasn't felt like this in their life? I'm sure if we are honest, most of us have in our long term relationships. It's about moving past this that makes or breaks you as a couple. I've found myself feeling this way plenty of times...
It's interesting the things that come up in our lives that cause us to drift apart. I'm watching my own kids go through very tough times with their husbands. My husband and I stay out of most of it but we do offer counsel and advice when they come to us for it. Mostly the problems that arise are financially driven. It's hard to watch your grown kids struggle in their marriages. Especially when they have kids. I know very well what I went through as a single Mom. The kids remember that also. I believe it has helped all of them understand that it's really best for everyone if they can stay and work it out. People/ relationships are not disposable! You can't just pick up another one and expect that is your answer. Relationships are hard and sometimes painful to endure. Especially with financial hardship on top of trying to work through other marriage related issues.
I feel for them always as I see the pain and suffering through the discord. They always seem to make it through and I'm always grateful. My husband has a great way of talking to my son in laws without judgement. This is something new and something that I really do appreciate! I'm finding that he can be extremely helpful at making sure my son in -laws feel that they have someone who they can talk and relate to. My husband and I have gone through a lot of issues ourselves and we divorced. We were apart for three years. In those three years we tore each other to shreds... When we realized that our 5 year old daughter was greatly impacted we decided to choose a different way... Working out our differences. We still have lots of issues to deal with but we decided that divorce doesn't work,
everyone loses. This I know to be true! We remarried 5 years ago. I believe that this life experience helps the kids see that working through things is possible even when you think all hope is lost!
I maybe should feel embarrassed about the fact our marriage failed and then we remarried. I'm ok with saying we had a lot of work to do on ourselves and as a couple. Watching our life experience, makes it real to my kids. They understand that the grass isn't always greener.
Hau and I.
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