It's A Long Road Back Raising A Four Year Old In Your 50's.

It's a long way back. I find myself at 52 with a four year old. I'm trying to wrap my head around the events of the past two weeks in which I find myself with guardianship of my beautiful Granddaughter. No idea how long this will be for. It all hinges on her parents getting it together. I hold out little hope on that. Breaks my heart. The little life she has had to live has been difficult, I'm sure. Now that the court is involved, I hope they will ensure her safety!

I'm glad to be able to do my part to help this child. It strikes me as desperate when I look into her vulnerable eyes. So heart wrenching! What really amazes me is her compliance and appreciation to leave that life behind her. She had a visit with Mom and Dad. We took her to see them at a park. They played for an hour and a half. My Granddaughter was fine to come back with me. No fuss, no tears and no apparent dispair. Just a matter of fact farewell.

In this past week I have worked on getting a routine going for her. A life she can expect from us here. She seems to love the idea of a nightly bath and bedtime story. I sit with her while she falls asleep... The past few days she has had the worst cough! She caught something somewhere. I took her to the Dr. Friday. We finally found a nighttime cough med that the pharmacist recommended at 1 am last night. Bless her heart she has been coughing so much. Her sinuses so plugged up.

As I mentioned, all of this is going back a long way. My oldest is 30 years old. My youngest will be 13 this May. My whole adult life has been about taking care of people. I'm not complaining, it's what I have done. Seems it is my lot in life.

Last year I was able to revisit my life passion of music. I have been working on me and developing myself as an artist and person. I loved my time... I worked hard at trying to learn about how to get myself out there in social media. I really had fun discovering myself. I don't want to lose me again! I'm hoping I can find a balance and a place for me while taking care of everyone else...
I was able to squeeze in putting together a submission for a John Legend contest. Five lucky artist will be mentored by John Legend. How great would that be? The best as far as I see it! What a
wonderful experience that would be. I realize I probably have a better chance at winning the lottery than this contest but I wanted to try so, I did. I put together three 60 second submissions.
All Of Me John Legend AXE submission.

submissionSomething More Than Nothing submission for AXE/ John Legend contest

Lost In The Game submission for AXE/ John Legend contest
This contest is a promotion for AXE products. I had fun submitting. May be silly but it keeps me feeling like a person in my own right. Otherwise, I get swallowed up in caregiver mode.

God how I wish I could earn compensation in some form. Pay me in freakin chocolate, at this point I don't care! I just want to feel that what I do with these two hands is worth something to someone!