My Rose Colored Glasses Fell Off 

This is a pic of some of the flowers blooming in my front yard tree. Just gorgeous this year! A sea of white flowers.
I have been busy every min this week. Mostly routine activities with a lot of caretaking the family. I decided to bake Valentine cookies for my In laws. 
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I then had to package this set of cookies, and shag them down to the post office to send… They should arrive in time for Valentine’s Day. Zoe is making the same cookies today to give to her friends for the occasion.
Amelia had her first school dance on Friday. The “Sweetheart Dance”.
I have no idea why the florist put such a huge Rose bud on a little girls wristlet. It all flew apart 10 min into the dance I was told. She, however thought it was perfect and was in awe of her special flower bracelet.


Saturday, granddaughter Elizabeth performed at the Chinese Festival in downtown Phoenix. She is part of the Mandarin Program in the Chandler School District. She learns in 1/2 Mandarin and 1/2 English every day.  My daughter Britt tells me it has been somewhat difficult for Lizzy, she is actually doing better with the Mandarin than the English curriculum. She thinks this will get better as she progresses in the program. I’m very proud of Lizzy. She is very enthusiastic and happy to be in this program! She did a fantastic job in this dance program. Fun! We enjoyed visiting and tasting various food truck delectables offered there.

After the Festival, we went to an RV show. As I toured many of these rolling homes I couldn’t help but long for a starter RV. Something not too big but comfortable to travel and stay in with the kids for long weekends. I would love to own a rolling home! Too bad we can’t afford one. I even found myself dreaming/wishing that I had some kind of a music career to justify owning one. The tax write off lol…. I sure wish that I could make something of my music and myself.
Face To Face has me facing my dissatisfaction with where I find myself today. I sure wish that I would have chosen to pursue something more for myself. I’m feeling a lot of sadness and regret for the things I haven’t accomplished and the realization that I just wasn’t good enough to. 
Meanwhile, this world keeps on turning and I’m the support to make the young ones dreams and success happen. I suppose it’s enough and I’m grateful to be able to be a part of that. Is it horrible to want to be and do more? Ugh…

If we are honest with ourselves sometimes it isn’t pretty. The harshness of facing our own failings and unrealized potential, a bitter pill to swallow. Especially when you face it in private. I could/would never impose/expose my feelings of failure on my family. They, will never know my internal struggle with great disappointment. It’s a very personally shaming ephiany to realize that you didn’t take care of yourself.
Have a great Valentine’s weekend!