Curiosity Uncovers The Surprise Of A Lifetime
In my 59 years upon this earth, I’ve had a framework and a sense of myself. Just like most or dare I say all of you, grew up within a family. I have a sister that is 8 years older. My Mom and Dad had me when they were a few years shy of being 40 years old. I followed in their footsteps and had my last natural born child a month shy of turning 40. Comparatively, my parents were always older parents to me. My peers had much younger parents than me. My parents were extremely educated and successful by the time that I was born. My Mom was always embroiled in a project and interests of her own. She wrote musicals and was a huge part of the Roseville Civic Theater near Sacramento. Dad was chasing the golden nugget and busy inventing. Designing the popular polystyrene insulation still used in construction and under roads. An invention that should have made him rich beyond his wildest dreams…
My sister being 8 years older, tolerated me at best. I always knew that she resented me for intruding into her only child world. I always looked up to her though when I was little. We had our moments but mostly, she was busy with friends activities. Joy took piano lessons and practiced a lot. Sometimes if I were lucky, she would invite me to sit next to her on the piano bench. She would play a few notes and then ask me to repeat what she had played. So, I did. It was the only time that I had with her that she seemed happy with me and, I ate that up! I loved sitting with her at the piano and being included for those moments! Anyway, quickly she taught me to play one handed duets with her. Simple duets. She seemed pleased with me when we would do this.
Mostly though she would practice by herself and I would dance like a ballerina as she played. I remember one day, she practiced the same passage over and over never quite getting it right. Mom was encouraging from the other room. “Almost”, she would yell. My sisters frustration finally got the better of her and she left the bench. I climbed onto the bench, and played the passage perfectly… My Mom began praising my sister excitedly as she entered the room- only to find 5 year old me at the keys. I still remember the look of astonishment on her face. Almost a fearful look of terror. She was completely dumbfounded… I thought at first I had done something wrong! She asked me to play it again, so I did. She shook her head and uttered words of disbelief. Soon after that, I was taking piano lessons. My hand was so small that I couldn’t span a octave… Anyway, I credit my sister for helping me to discover and develop my most cherished gift in life, (other than my kids of course). The memories of those times that we would sit together on the piano bench forever etched in my mind!
As I sit here trying to convey and relay my story tears are falling… I got my Ancestry DNA test results yesterday, Father’s Day. I was so excited to get to finally view them. My sister had done hers a few years ago so I kind of knew what mine would be. As expected I found that I am English, Scottish and Irish with other small percentages of Ethnicity… Anyway, my daughter Zoe had done her Ancestry test last year as well. I saw that we are 50% linked together. A normal result. My sister was linked to me as a close relative. This struck me as interestingly vague. I clicked on the percentage link to find that we are only 24% matched. I clicked again on the thread to find the possible relationships with that percentage… Grandparent, Aunt and Half Sibling showed up in the explanation of connection. Then it hit me, a wave of realization that we are half sisters! I researched the explanation and the meaning of this over and over. I had other family search my results to make sure that I was correct in my interpretation of the results… Zoe checked her connection to my sister and it came back half Aunt…Omg 😳… !!!!!!!
After hours of tossing this around in my head I’m stumped. I wanted to talk to my sister about this but she is going through a very difficult time right now with her own family. I’ll have to wait, and find the words to tell her. This shock has me realizing that my whole perception of my family dynamic was a deception. Who the heck am I? Was my father my bio dad? Was my mother my bio Mom? What the heck? Was this a secret my Mom took to her grave? Is that what made her drink heavily when I was growing up? Is this why Mom resented me when I was little? Is this why my sister barely tolerated me as a child? Is this why I’ve always felt like a loner my whole life? If my dad isn’t my bio dad then who is? Did my dad know one of us wasn’t his? These questions have been swirling around in my head… The shock of all shocks… The saddest part, anyone I could ask has passed away! Mom, Dad and Uncle Ed, all of the siblings are gone… I feel more alone than ever. I wonder how my sister will take this revelation? Did she know?! Our parents were married for over 30 years (not happily). Apart for nearly 10 years before their divorce was final.
Family secrets… what other plot twist and turn am I going to encounter when trying to unearth my true identity or my sisters? I’ll keep you posted…
No wonder I’ve often felt ,”Lost In The Game” my Original song. I wrote this about 4 years ago! Here is the link!
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