A nice change for us here in the Phoenix area.
I have enjoyed walking in this weather, free of the blazing sun!
Today is Lunar New Year. My husband who is a native Vietnamese man, isn't celebrating. He's sleeping and awaiting Angioplasty tomorrow afternoon. We are hoping all goes well and he and the family can celebrate Tet, this weekend. We hope that he doesn't need to have bypass surgery but we won't know until after the procedure tomorrow.
I've watched him decline or react to the stress of the discovery that he has significant plaque in his heart valves and arteries. He has done more sleeping than I can imagine! It's hard for me to tell if he feels that bad or he's avoiding thinking about it?
I am left to my thoughts and worries as I ready the kids with an abundance of food and support. I will be with my husband for at least a night stay in the hospital. I myself can't wait for this to be over as it's been worrisome since hearing he is at great risk for a major heart attack/ cardiac event. He's only 56!
My thoughts have been all over the place. Because I'm human, I couldn't help but worry about finances in the unlikely event of his death. Being a career Homemaker for 20 + years, the wish that I could magic up a lucrative money making career has been on my mind! Care taking of family and my household aren't financially gainful.
I'm glad to be able to have my time available to give to my kids, grandkids and husband but, it doesn't pay the bills. I have given freely of my time and energy for so many years. What would it be like to get paid for the energy I expend?
Although I enjoy this hobby, it is yet another energy and effort expenditure that doesn't pay the bills. Some days, I feel just worthless. The worst part is the realization the monetarily, I am worthless!
#OriginalMusic
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